Look Up: What Really Matters in Life?

What matters in life? This is the quintessential question that so many of us contemplate on a day to day basis. Perhaps the best piece of advice I've ever received on this piece of "what matters in life?", is that it doesn't really matter...what matters in life is variable and ever changing. There is no set answer on what matters in life, rather it's actually about fully showing up with our presence and experiencing ALL of life in it's fullness.

What matters is our perception and ability to remain aware of what we are perceiving throughout every experience itself rather than any external detail or accomplishment actually meaning something.

This is something that I've been contemplating a lot lately, that it doesn't really matter what the external circumstances are, as long as I am present and willing to experience them in their fullness.
I have been tested in this idea a lot lately. I've been going through some powerful transformative times that have required me to be deeply present and grounded so as not to lose my shit through all of this transformation.

Let's back track a little, in this past year I have seen the greatest duality at play in my life beyond what I had ever dreamed possible. I have experienced total joy and almost simultaneously absolute utter desperation in a way that is constant, seemingly cynical at times, and ongoing.

In this past year I have: had invasive surgery on my ear,  fallen deeply in love at a completely unexpected time, had to evacuate my home in Lower Puna (Hawaii) because lava overtook it, been temporarily homeless for a month, moved four times, co-lead my first epic yoga retreat in Greece, traveled to Colorado with my partner for him to work a festival and subsequently on the last night helplessly watched him fall 14 feet from a loft and dislocate his elbow and break his foot (if you've ever seen someone's dislocated elbow get put back in place let me tell you, it's no joke thing), I cancelled my first ever 300 hour training after hundreds of hours of work creating the content due to uncontrollable factors, and I am currently writing this as a category 5 hurricane dumps 20+" of rain over our heads.

It has been the most epic, and most exhausting year of my life, simultaneously.

Throughout all of these experiences I have focused on not getting caught up in the drama of it all (whether good of bad). Rather I have searched my heart and disciplined my mind to stay present, fully along for the ride (whatever that may be at any given time), and have committed to myself to always always always make the best of every scenario that arises.

This does not mean forced positivity and ten million affirmations pasted on my bathroom mirror to remind me of how awesome I am.

No, when I look in the mirror and feel horrible and depleted like ten cups of coffee can't even save me, I allow myself to feel horrible and depleted and consequently do nothing about it except feel what is arising and follow the internal urge that is naturally arising. If the internal urge is to keep going, I keep going. If the internal urge is to divert course and drop into a much needed nap, I follow it. If the internal urge is to drink ten cups of coffee, I drink one instead because who in the hell drinks ten cups of coffee? If the internal urge is to get three hours of sleep a night, dance until the sun rises, then do three hours of yoga, I follow it.

When I wake up in the morning and feel like it is the best day ever, I allow myself to ride on those feelings and share my joy and exuberance with my loved ones and total strangers and yoga students and homeless people and the chirping birds and all of life.
However, when the 'best day ever' feelings aren't there for me, I don't force them to be there. I follow my internal urges and trust that is the truth in the moment. By following my urge, I am in authenticity.

I allow myself to steep like tea in whatever feelings may be arising. I essentially invite myself over for tea and taste whatever flavor is being poured by the universe. This is my spiritual commitment to myself, to sit with myself no matter what, even when it's uncomfortable.
Something miraculous happens when we are willing to do this. Suddenly at our core, we are at ease in all scenarios. Even through challenging times, when we must outwardly act in ways that push our endurance, patience, and compassion, we can still be at peace with what we are experiencing through our ability to move to our center and witness the unfolding of time. Essentially, this is the art of running towards what we would normally run from.

This little story sums it up.....

Last year I was in Indonesia on a remote island teaching yoga at a friend's surf camp. I woke up in the middle of the night after having an intense nightmare. My heart was pounding, I felt incredibly anxious to the point of a panic attack, I was totally caught in my head, and in addition I had to pee.

As I climbed down the ladder to find a nearby bush, I carefully shone my headlamp on the ladder and the ground purveying the area for spiders, snakes, and scorpions as I made my way out into the open.

I often felt a lot of trepidation waking up there in the night to pee b/c the thought of stepping on a poisonous snake filled me with fear and that night was no exception.

I continued on the trail to find my pee spot, my mind feeling full and burdened, still carefully watching the ground with each step I took. Eventually I found my spot and squatted down.

Suddenly, as I stood up, I had this moment of total pause and stillness in my mind. I took a deep breath and looked up at the sky. There were a billion stars shining and a distant waning moon setting over the horizon of the ocean. It was absolutely stunning.

In that moment all of my fear and burdens fell right off of me. In that moment I felt truly at home, safe, supported and fully present. By Divine grace, in that moment I remembered to be present and aware, and look up.

Every moment is a moment to look up, or in, or around, and feel what is there to be felt. Let it move through you like water, or fire, or air, or nothing at all, and be along for the ride. No matter what. All of it.

Blessed love,
Kristen

Why Search?

  I just finished reading Siddhartha and was reminded how the point in life is not to search. The point in life is not to condemn, nor attempt to find enlightenment in some distant corner of the Earth. The point is there is no point- just be, just feel, just experience, become.
  Siddhartha is a fictional (?) character who was born in India during the time of Gotama the Buddha. In his life he moves from being the son of an esteemed Brahmin, to an aesthetic, to a rich man indulging in the sensory pleasures of life, finally to a wise sage ferryman along the sacred river banks. He met the Buddha and found no satisfaction in his teachings and continued on his way, learning about different aspects of existence by living them fully.
   Eventually, he becomes enlightened by hearing the roaring of the river merging into the sound of the eternal OM. In that moment, he saw all of his experiences, the good, bad and everything in between appearing before his eyes, and subsequently merging into the next experience, in total unison. In that moment, he saw the Oneness of all of life behind all of the different realities he had lived in his one small lifetime.
   Siddhartha questioned himself every step of the way. When he was a child, he found offerings to the Gods useless so he left his father to become a renunciate in the forest. After torturing his body for many years with intense fasting, enduring laying on beds of thorns, and other bodily mortifications, he abandoned that life to become a man of the world. He found a lover, Kamala, and became a man with fancy clothes and riches. Eventually, that too became meaningless to him and he left the world of comfort to become a simple man in the forest once again. During that time he lived with a ferryman named Govinda who taught him to listen deeply. Not only to listen but to receive deeply. He would sit for hours at a time in silence, listening to the stories the river had to tell. In the end, he recognized that all experiences served the Divine purpose of helping him wake up different aspects of himself, which eventually led him to a single moment of synchronicity which many call self realization.
  Had he not had all of these different experiences, he would not have been able to recognize that all experiences are Divine in nature. He would not have been able to realize that all experiences merge into one single point. The resounding, constant, never ending roar of OM. The sound that has been designated from time immemorial to represent all of existence and the love that backs it all.
   I relate to Siddhartha deeply. Sometimes I find myself questioning many of my choices that I have made in my 31 years. The critic comes in and says, " You would be a better person if..." or , "You would be more advanced at yoga if..." or, "You should be embarrassed because..." and the nay-sayer goes on and on. I have questioned so much of what I have experienced and wondered so much as to what purpose these experiences have served.
   I have condemned, and also delighted in the crazy shit I have done. I have felt utter embarrassment, fear of rejection to the point of deep buried silence which lies dormant. I have excused away very strong impulses because they didn't seem to fit with the reality I was in. I have in the same breath felt intense joy, feelings of enlightenment, which always fade. I have had moments of feeling total love, emanating from within myself and also from other beings that have been on the path too. I have partied too much, worked too hard, loved way too deeply for self preservation. I have squandered all of my money too many times to count. I have travelled places because of having one vibrant dream at night, woken up, bought a plane ticket, and flung myself into those experiences because I have always felt deep within, despite logical fears, that there is nothing to lose.
  There is nothing to lose. Beyond all of the questioning, there is a very deep inner knowing that all is perfection. All occurrences have been in perfect timing. When I reflect on the encounters and experiences in this lifetime and others I see the perfection of it all. I see how one experience merges into another, guiding me much like the river guides a leaf downstream towards the vast and immeasurable sea.
 I have procrastinated to the point of deeply irritating the people closest to me. I have been a classic underachieving, brilliant fucking light in this world, often wandering, but absolutely never lost.
 Nothing is ever lost. It cannot be. Even with death, no loss is incurred.
  Life to me, and my limited but ancient perspective is purposeless. Goalless. Even enlightenment need not be strived for. How can something that happens in perfect timing ever be controlled or harnessed, or worked toward? Read the ancient stories of the ones who have crossed the bank of separation to total oneness and it is always the same. They finally gave up searching and it arrived. They finally let go of the goal and it landed on their laps. They surrendered to the perfection of the flow of the river of life, and it took them.
  This deep feeling has perhaps led me astray in the realm of worldly achievements. It has perhaps under motivated me to do anything other than what I absolutely want to do in that moment, and that is the freedom that only a few on this Earth possess. It is not for everyone, this path, but everyone has their path, and that is the joy of being alive. No one needs to follow the footsteps of anyone else. I am not enlightened and have no idea when that moment will occur. I am not chasing it. Even my yoga practice is not aimed particularly at enlightenment. I do it because it PULLS me towards it. I have heard a great man (Tony Robbins) once say," Being drawn isn't enough- you have to be PULLED." Only that is enough. Whatever the circumstance, if we can trust the silent pull of our heart and Highest Intuition, we will reach the goalless goal. We are all headed there, but it's up to you, let go, or be dragged.
Love. Is all.
Love.

12 Poses to Awaken Manipura Chakra: Third Chakra Attunement

The third chakra, known as manipura chakra in Sanskrit, is energetically located in the solar plexus region of the body. Manipura translates as: city of jewels, or jeweled abode. It is the chakra associated with will power, determination, and manifestation. Manipura is governed by the element of fire, and is represented by the color yellow. It shines like the light of a million suns with resplendent prana (life force energy), and helps circulate prana throughout the entire body and energetic system.
When the chakra is in balance,  it is associated with having a strong digestive fire (known as agni), the ability to assimilate life, and digest ones' emotions with ease. With a balanced manipura, one feels empowered to create the life they want to live through the power of personal intention, goal setting, and follow up action which, if karmically is in the cards, leads to manifestation of the intended outcome.
Motivation to act outwardly is governed by this chakra, so if you ever wonder why you don't feel like getting on your yoga mat some days, a deficiency of energy in this chakra is possibly contributing! This is where will power comes in, if the chakra is strong it is effortless "To will what you want," with very little effort, but if there is a deficiency of energy, one will feel exhausted even thinking about standing up to get a snack, let alone writing a business plan, or doing a yoga practice! An energy deficiency in a chakra basically means that prana is not flowing evenly into the chakra, and it is closed off to some degree. This is usually associated with emotional holding patterns, often stifled internalized emotions such as resentment, or lack of motivation for fear of failure, and the governing area will even feel cold to the touch. This is when a little determination comes in and draws upon willpower to get up and do it anyway, knowing the positive benefits of doing what one loves can bring, one roots into intention to call themselves into action.
When the chakra has an excessive amount of energy pooling in it, it is associated with excessive pride, egotism, anger, and power struggles with self and others (read fear of letting go of control). This can lead to trying to force things to happen from a place of "power over" rather than "co-creation with." An excess of energy in a chakra basically means there is too much energy in that area, which is "stealing" from other neighboring chakras, creating an imbalance to the entire energetic system. An over energized manipura can lead to powering over rather than working with others, over achievement at the cost of self and others, and fear of loss of control.
This sequence is designed to clear and balance the third chakra, so you may feel the strength of intention and manifestation energy that arises from manipura.
 Before practicing this sequence, warm up with four-five rounds of Surya Namaskar A. A great video of this can be found on youtube, "Maria Villella: Surya Namaskar A of Ashtanga Yoga." Also be sure to utilize Ujjayi Pranayama, victorious breath for the duration of this practice.

1.  Utkatasana: Fierce Pose 
    From Equal Standing Pose, Samastitihi, inhale, bend your knees, circle your arms overhead and join the palms together. Reach your hands straight up and squeeze your forearms together. If your neck is healthy, tip your throat up and arch your head back so you are gazing at your thumbs. Squeeze your knees and ankles together. Draw your low belly back towards your spine and reach your pubic bone towards your navel. Hold for ten Ujjayi breaths gazing up and back. To release, inhale, straighten your knees, stand up tall, keep your arms overhead and lift your ribs away from your pelvis. Exhale, hinge from your hips and swan dive forward into Standing Forward Fold.

2. Phalakasana Kriya: Plank Pose with Core Cleansing Practice
   From Standing Forward Fold, inhale, roll into halfway lift, elongate your spine from the low back up thought the crown of the head. Bend your knees and place your palms down on the floor, directly under your shoulders. Spread your palms and ground your hands, step back into Plank position. Firm both sides of your body and feel one line of energy from your heals up through the crown of your head. If holding Plank is already enough exertion, hold Plank for five breaths. If Plank is sustainable for you, engage your thighs strongly and flip onto the tops of your feet. Inhale, lift one leg parallel to the floor, exhale, curl your knee in towards your forehead. Round your entire spine and keep your shoulders directly over your wrists. Inhale, extend the curled in leg back like you are pushing through concrete, exhale curl the knee in. Repeat three times slowly, then change legs. After you've completed the cycle, lower all the way down onto your abdomen, pillow your hands under your forehead and rest for three nourishing breaths.

3. Salabhasana: Locust Pose 
 From the prone position, interlace your fingers behind your back. Squeeze your legs together. Exhale, gently root your pubic bone down and seal your low belly back. Inhale, simultaneously lift your arms up and back, and arch your head, chest, and legs away from the floor. Engage the entire length of your back body. Keep your eyes soft and gaze down the tip of the nose (not crosseyed, but gently down towards the earth), be mindful to keep your neck extended even though your gaze is down. Hold for five breaths. Release down on the fifth exhalation.  Pillow your hands under your forehead, rest for three slow breaths, repeat one more round.

4. Adho Mukha Svanasana: Downward Facing Dog Pose
 From the prone position, place your hands under your shoulders, inhale, press up and back onto all fours. Spread your palms open and root the base of your palms, fingers and fingertips. Curl your toes under. Rock your hips back towards your heels, exhale, lift up and back one vertebrae at a time and slowly roll your spine into Down Dog. Lengthen your spine up and back, and slowly begin to straighten your legs. Ground the center of your heels. Firm the triceps (back of upper arm), and roll the elbow points out and down, until the inner elbows point towards eachother. Slide your shoulder blades towards your pelvis and actively spread them across your back. Recoil energy from the earth up from your hands and feet by rooting them down. Breathe deeply into the solar plexus region, allowing it to rise and fall, but be sure to keep the low abdomen drawn in and back towards the spine. Let the firey energy of the last three postures mellow and soften. Hold for five breaths up to two minutes.

5. Lolasana: Scales Pose
 From Down Dog, inhale, lift your heels, exhale, bend your knees, gaze between your hands, inhale, lightly float your body forward, as you lift off, curl your knees into your chest, and land the tops of your feet (toenail side), on the floor a few inches behind your hands. Keep your knees and shins off of the floor, keeping 99% of your weight in your hands, 1% in the tops of the feet.  Cross one ankle over the other. Round your spine powerfully and engage your core. Keep your neck gently extended. Seal your abdomen back towards your spine. Squeeze your bottom ankle up into your top ankle and press your top ankle down with equal pressure. Without hopping, attempt to lift your feet away from the floor. You might not be able to lift up if you haven't practiced this extensively, continue to hold the pose regardless as it will assist you in developing the strength to one day hover your entire body between your arms.  Hold for five breaths. Release on your fifth exhalation onto your knees into Thunderbolt Pose and rest for one slow breath. Repeat one to two more times. On the last repetition of Lolasana, keep your weight in your hands, gently step or float back into Four Limbed Staff Pose, followed by Up Dog, then glide back into Down Dog.

6. Parivritta Parsvakonasana: Revolved Side Angle Pose
 From Down Dog, inhale, stretch your left leg up and back into Three Legged Dog, exhale, curl the knee in towards the abdomen, roll onto the fingertips, and lightly place the left foot between the hands. Lower your back knee down. Bring your hands onto your hips, and rock your hips back and up so they are squared directly over your back knee. Pull the front of your ribcage in towards your back ribs, and reach your right arm up. Inhale, lengthen your spine from your right knee up through your right pinky finger. Exhale, twist to the left, hook your right upper arm onto your left outer thigh. Press your arm and thigh together and spin your left shoulder and ribs open towards the ceiling. Fold your palms into prayer position at the center of your chest. Gaze up over your left shoulder. Align the head with the tailbone. If your balance feels stable, inhale, lift your back knee off of the floor by pressing through the ball of your back foot and simultaneously reaching the front knee forward. Feel free to bind your arms under the front leg if that range of motion is available. Inhale lengthen the spine, exhale, engage your core and twist. Stay in the pose and flow into #7. from here.

7. Parsva Bakasana: Revolved Crane Pose
  From Revolved Side Angle, with the left leg forward, remain in the twist, palms in prayer position. Gaze down and off to the left side of your mat. Fix your eyes steadily on the floor. Inhale, step your back leg forward, directly in line with your front leg (both knees are bent). You are now in Side Fierce Pose, (Parsva Utkatasana). Remember to keep your knees bent, and remain in the twist! Exhale, slowly squat about half way down onto the balls of your feet. Keep your right arm strongly hooked onto your left outer thigh. Place your hands off to the left of your body, fingers pointing straight forward. Shift your weight into your hands, bend your elbows as your lean your shoulders forward of your wrists, and lift your feet off of the floor. Gaze one foot forward of your hands down the tip of your nose towards the Earth.  Hold for five steady breaths. To exit, either unwind, fold forward in Standing Forward Fold, Uttanasana, and then step back through a Vinyasa, or hug your left arm into your side ribs, exhale jump back into Chaturanga by quickly unwinding your legs and torso. Rest in Down Dog for a few breaths. Repeat the sequence from #6-#7, leading with the right leg.

8. Salamba Sirsasana: Supported Headstand
 From Down Dog, exhale, lower down onto all fours, place your forearms down, elbows shoulder width distance apart and interlace your fingers. Place your head on the floor between interlaced palms so the weight is resting just slightly forward towards your forehead from the crown of your head. Inhale, lift your knees off of the floor and straighten your knees. Walk your feet in until your hips stack directly over your shoulders. Ground your elbows, forearms, and wrists so they take the majority of your weight. Engage your low belly and pelvic floor to promote levity. Inhale, curl your thighs into your torso and lift your feet off the floor. Keep your legs squeezing together and slowly reach your bent knees straight up so your feet point down and back behind you. Feel one line of energy from the crown of your head up through bent knees. Straighten your legs by strongly engaging the tops of your thighs. Thoroughly firm both sides of your body and elongate upwardly by rooting your bases down. Gaze at the horizon with soft eyes. Hold for 5 breaths up to a five minutes if you are comfortable in the posture. Use a wall if you feel shaky about balance. If in doubt about whether you are safe to do a headstand, work with an experienced teacher first then approach it on your own. To release out of the posture, attempt to reverse your movements and rest in Child's Pose for one minute. Lift up and back into Down Dog.

9. Bhujangasana: Cobra Pose 
 From Down Dog, inhale roll forward into Plank, exhale lower down onto your abdomen. Place your hands a few inches behind your shoulders and root your hands down. Exhale, ground the tops of your feet and pelvis down and draw your low belly back so it lifts off of the floor. Inhale, traction your hands down and slowly arch your spine up and back, away from the floor. Keep a strong gripping action in your hands so you feel as if the pelvis is being tractioned forward (without actually moving). Roll your shoulders back and puff your chest forward and up. Root your sacrum into your body and lightly engage your buttocks. Be sure to press the tops of your feet down continually. Press your shoulder blades into your body towards your heart and lift your breastbone up. Tip your head back keeping your tongue at the roof of your mouth. Gaze slightly forward and down. Hold for 5 breaths. To release, exhale roll down one vertebrae at a time. Option to repeat one or two more times before moving on to #10.

10. Dhanurasana: Bow Pose
 From a prone position, prop yourself up on your forearms into Sphinx position. Gently stretch each leg back a little bit more to even out your pelvis on the floor. Inhale, bend your knees, reach back and catch your outer ankles. Keeping your ankles in hand, roll your upper body down so your forehead rests on the floor. Exhale, root your pubic bone down and seal your low abdomen back. Inhale, kick your feet into your hands and simultaneously arch your head, chest, and knees away from the floor. Keep your pelvic floor actively engaged. Kick your legs back into your hands, and lift your chest up so your breastbone is parallel to the wall in front of you. Bring your shins parallel to the wall behind you and arch your upper back deeper. Balance on your solar plexus region, and allow your breath to be as even as possible. Hold for five steady breaths. Roll down on your fifth exhalation. Pillow your hands under your forehead, rest for a few slow even breaths, repeat one to two more times. After your last round, press up and back into Down Dog. Send your breath into your solar plexus region.

11. Salamba Sarvangasana: Supported Shoulderstand
From Down Dog, step or jump through to seated and recline onto your back. Bring your legs together. Gently tuck your shoulders underneath you and open your chest. Press your palms down alongside your hips and seal your low belly back towards your spine. Keep your head straight for the entire duration of this posture! Inhale, squeeze your legs together and lift them straight up so your feet point towards the ceiling. Exhale, press your hands down and roll your hips and torso off of the floor so your body is balanced on your shoulder blades and the back of your head. Place your hands on your rib cage and find your balance. Once you are stable, one shoulder at a time, roll your upper arms underneath you and walk your elbows in so they are shoulder width distance (bringing your hands closer to your shoulder blades). Press the back of your head and shoulder blades down into the floor and from this action, arc the base of your neck away from the floor. If you are unable to lift the base of your neck away from the floor, perform this posture on 2 or 3 folded blankets, resting your trunk on blankets, and the back of your head on the floor itself. Gaze at your abdomen softly. Hold for 30 seconds up to a few minutes if you are comfortable. Optional: After holding the posture you may come into Halasana, Plough Pose, by hinging at your hips and lowering the tops of your feet to the floor behind your head. To release, bring your palms down on the floor and roll out as slowly as possible, keep your head firmly pressing down until you roll all the way down to supine position. Rest and absorb the cooling benefits.

12. Uttana Padasana: Intense Leg Stretch Pose
From a supine position, press your palms and forearms down strongly, inhale arch your upper back, puff your chest up,  and place the crown of your head on the floor. If that feels comfortable on your neck, keep your head in position, squeeze your legs together and lift them up at a 45 degree angle to the floor. Once that position is established, reach your arms up, press your palms together and aim your arms up at a 45 degree angle as well. Keep your core engaged and send your breath into your side ribs. Hold for 5 breaths gazing down the tip of the nose. To release, place you palms down again, continue to keep your legs up, and release your head down onto the floor. Curl your knees into your chest and soften. Take Savasana, Corpse Pose, and enjoy the benefits of your practice.

Overcoming Limitation: That Which Needs No Definition

The other day I was accused of not being in alignment with yogic philosophies after channeling a dharma talk about overcoming duality. I was approached in a way as if I should be ashamed for what I had said. It really got me thinking about the constant web of illusion the mind attempts to ensnare one in on at any given moment. The illusion that there is a "right way" and a "wrong way" to be. It really got me thinking about the indoctrination of guilt.
Guilt is an emotion that can stifle the creative energy of a human being. Guilt is crushing to the individual, as it can be translated that if one is different, they should feel guilty. If one is expressing their truth and it is not in line with the widely accepted truth of the mass indoctrination, they should feel guilty. It is quite suitable that guilt and moral obligation seem to be the negative undercurrent of all religious dogmas.
As a teenager, I began to perceive my own emotional turmoil around feeling unworthy. I noticed how often I cut myself down. How often I felt unworthy of being successful and would oftentimes sabotage myself. I noticed how terrified I was to express myself or stand up for myself if I incurred an injustice.
I sought to define myself through certain identities as a way to protect myself from feeling vulnerable and also to justify my worthiness for existing. I identified myself as an artist, a healer, a yogi, a vegan, a traveller....
I recognized after some time that I, as well as my ancestors and probably their ancestors too, have been programmed to feel guilty for even being born in the first place. This creates a need to justify one's existence to feel worthy. This concept serves societal order. It serves falling in line with the status quo and living a mundane life. The very idea that "I am..." fill in the blank, leads to having to conform to those thoughts.
 If one feels "useful," then they are "worthy." From childhood, we are taught to be consistent with our behavior, our beliefs, and our gender, and to uphold these standards through our actions. We are told to stay within the framework of all of the labels given to us. "Ladies have manners," and "Boys don't cry,"are just the tip of the iceberg. From a young age, belief systems are imposed upon us, not intentionally usually, but because this is how things have been for generations. It's called conditioning.
Oftentimes, this conditioning goes without question long into adulthood....we stick to our beliefs and definitions of ourselves like glue, lest we be labelled a hypocrite.
Well, I call bullshit.
"Be consistently inconsistent." OSHO
The moment we label something, we have to maintain that reality. This can lead to forcing a facade of being a certain way, long after that energy is no longer serving our highest good. This creates a disconnect within ourselves and can lead to a lot of suppression of what is naturally arising in the present moment.
For example, I was a vegan for many consecutive years. I wore the identity proudly, and would often criticize others who did not eat a plant based diet. I felt I did good when educating people about the reality of animal cruelty and although it did shed some awareness and help some people, it also isolated me from many of the people closest to me. I wasn't portraying the information in a loving way and the more I would argue my points, the more I entrapped myself into sticking to my opinions as the only right way to be. Then came a time when I started to faint, and became very weak. I tried everything to help myself, and eventually the only thing that helped me was eating some animal protein. I had to abandon the egoic identity of being a vegan to maintain my health and vitality. I felt like a hypocrite.
The moment we label something, we limit it. If I call myself a yogini, I am held to maintaining that image to myself and the world. Due to the reality of human experience and the vast array of emotions that can play out in a lifetime, I may not always uphold this title in a way that is exemplary. Therefore I prefer to not call myself a yogini, nor be called a yogini by others. Rather I attempt to adhere to the science of yoga in a way that is nourishing and allows me to blossom as a compassionate being. No need to proclaim something that may not always be true, maybe today I'm a yogini but tomorrow I'm too lazy to practice? Am I a failure because I didn't do my pranayama? Am I failure because I didn't adhere to the ethical rules perfectly?
To expect consistency in ourselves and others seems to be a reasonable request, but if examined a little bit deeper, one can see how it can create undue pressure on ourselves and the ones we love to fulfill expectations. For example, it's like being in love. For many years two people may be deeply in love, if that truth changes for one of them, it is their right to express this shift and implement a change in the relationship. If the person experiencing this change does not embrace this shift because they are holding themselves to always being consistent, they may stay in the relationship for years to come, long after they are ready to move on. This is not only stifling to the individual experiencing a change of heart, but also dishonest with the other person. To say be consistently inconsistent is much like saying- be free to be who you are every single day, and know that who you are today very well may not be who you are tomorrow.
Each day there is an opportunity to change our mind about how we feel. There is an opportunity to shift our perspective and shed old belief patterns. To give ourselves this freedom also implies that we have the same compassion and acceptance of this truth for others as well.
It is a natural human tendency to want to categorize ourselves and others, but perhaps it is something that we can all ideally overcome. A good analogy for this is looking at the night sky. If you look at it from the inside of a box, with only a little peep hole to look out of, you will have a narrow perspective and will only see a small portion of the stars. If you look at the sky from a wide open field, your perspective will be expansive and you can see the full spectrum of stars.
"The barn burnt down, now I can see the moon!" Unknown
Every time we seek to identify ourselves through external circumstances, we are building a box around us. One that does not leave us much room to grow. Just look at house plants. As they grow, the pot they were once in will eventually become too small. If the plant is transplanted into a larger pot, it will continue to flourish and grow. If it is left in the pot that is too small, it's life force begins to wane, and eventually it may die, for what purpose is there in life if one's growth is being blocked by a rigid container?
The rigid container is all of the ways one may seek to identify themselves through strong opinions, labels, and accomplishments.
"Nothing fails like success." OSHO
If our self worth is only based on perceived success, we will surely suffer if that success falls away one day. If our self worth is only based on being "good" at external pursuits, we will surely suffer if one day we are no longer able to perform those actions. Anything that must be maintained can become a source of striving, and striving often times leads to suffering.
The moment we open our hearts to the idea that we are worthy and perfect because we exist in the first place, we become capable of dropping the need to proclaim our identity or maintain a certain image. We become open to accepting the idea that all of life is unfolding in utter perfection, the proof is in the fact that it exists at all. This can lead to liberation from all need to justify why one is "good enough" which inevitably allows for a deeper level of self acceptance of all aspects of experience.
To let go of labels, leads to freedom to be "who" we are in the present moment, without clinging to the past or pushing towards the future. We can arrive fully in the present moment and enjoy what is arising, without trying to change it. Even if a negative feeling arises, we can ride the waves without drowning in them, or pushing the feeling away because it doesn't fit with the image that has been constructed of ourselves. When we allow what is arising to be expressed through feeling fully, that which doesn't serve our highest good can fall away easily, no need for the guilt or pressure to always be the same person the world perceives us as.
As we learn to hold this space for ourselves, this acceptance then starts to occur with all of life. This provides fertile ground within one's heart for compassion to bloom. As we cultivate compassionate acceptance, a deep peace arises. This is the peace that will end all wars. This is the peace that will allow each person to feel love as the backbone to all of life. It starts with our relationship to ourselves, as we are, in this moment, no labels needed.

Unchaining the Spirit

He who has no object to gain by what he does in this world, nor any to lose by what he leaves undone; nor is there anyone, among all beings, on whom he need depend on any object.- 3:18 Bhagavad Gita

Lately I have been feeling more trapped and karmically embedded than usual. Whenever I feel stuck in life, I tend to slow everything way down and reflect on my past.

You can't know where you're going if you don't know where you're coming from. - Bob Marley

In these reflections, I often find my mind wandering back through the travels I did before I had a career, need for grounding at a base, or any concern in the world. During those years, $1000 was enough to fling myself far from my country of origin. I had a passion for experience, to be with nature, to immerse with people from everywhere, occasional insanity, salt water, adventure, and the breath of life.
I went where I was intuitively called, with usually zero preparation, I followed the feeling I received from the Universe.
I find that by reflecting on these past experiences, I am reminded of how powerful and amazing my path has been, which in turn gives me a huge amount of strength to keep moving forward to this day. To know, yes this life is full of suffering, but in the same breath it is full of joy and wonder, and perhaps most of all, it is full of synchronicities.
I'm not only referring to the awesome things that have unfolded as synchronicities, but also the tragedies. The heartbreaks. The ego shattering and rebuilding to rise again as this being I know as myself.
One of the most amazing journeys of my life was to the islands of Trinidad and Tobago.
It was the first international travel I had done without a travel partner, and I found myself in over my head perhaps. I originally planned to fly to Venezuela and get off there and head to Colombia, with a "just in case I'm scared shitless to do this alone," plan b backup flight to Port of Spain, Trinidad, that left 12 hours later.
I boarded my flight in Miami, and watched as everyone filed into their seats awaiting departure. The flight attendants' announcements were all in Spanish. I had traveled through Mexico a few months prior to this journey, and a familiar, exhilarating twinge of excitement arose within me immediately as I tried to decipher the Spanish.
Caracas is one of the absolutely most beautiful places in the world to fly into. Massive jagged green mountains rise up from yellow, sand lined turquoise Caribbean waters. The tragic beauty of the ghetto dotted the hillsides, as I'm sure it still does to this day. The unpainted gray concrete brick in contrast with the deep jungle green of the mountain backdrop was strikingly beautiful.
I disembarked the plane into the terminal, looked out towards the exit of the airport towards the busy and crime plagued streets and decided immediately that I was, in fact, scared shitless and would fly onto Trinidad that evening.
As I was waiting for my flight to Port of Spain, I made a couple of friends headed to different locales in South America. This afforded some small talk about what the hell we were all doing, and they confirmed that my decision to fly onto the Caribbean was a wise one.
As it was time to board my flight to Trinidad, I found myself walking behind a group of ten or more Hare Krishnas chanting the Maha Mantra quietly as they lined up for the same flight I was on. This totally blew my mind as I have a deep love for Krishna and view him as a Divine Protector, always benevolent and able to clear the deepest darkness.
This brought me to a place of comfort and inner knowing that I was not to doubt the perfection of my timing for this journey to unfold.
*****
Before arriving in Port of Spain, I arranged for a guest house taxi to pick me up as it was almost midnight and I had been forewarned that Trinidad was a different place at night. The taxi driver was quiet, nervous almost, and drove me through the center of the city before taking me to my sleeping arrangements.
As I observed the different people in the square I noticed a most interesting combination of women wearing colorful clothing, high heels, with an enviable carmel brown skin tone, out for the evening in large groups. Women selling fried fish and various other street foods. Beggars in rags sitting amongst the groups of women, as if it were staged. Men in American style dress, saggy pants, baseball caps with the tags still on them, deep brown skin. A few Rastafarians scattered amongst the crowd, wearing big turbans around their dreadlocks.
The next morning after eating at, to this day, the BEST vegan restaurant I have ever eaten at, I was wandering around the square I had been driven through the night before. I saw one blonde girl and her Trini friends walking towards me. I thought to myself, "they are walking towards me,"and sure enough they walked right up to me.
They said that I should NOT be alone in Trinidad, then invited me for a beer at a local pool hall. I didn't drink at all at the time, but took them up on the offer (eleven am), and before I knew it,  I was with my new friends, flagging down a minibus on the highway heading south. The feeling I had on that open, unfamiliar road was that of utter amazement of how powerfully I am always taken in by locals when I travel.
The family took me in and upon arrival in a neighborhood south of Princess Town, I was introduced to the entire family. I was a vegan at the time. The grandmother offered me a piece of fried chicken, I hesitated for a moment, then took it graciously and sat with them to eat, somewhat amazed at how the day had just unfolded.
It was an insane set of three weeks staying with this family in the South of Trinidad. The beauty was that of a rose. Mindblowingly radiant coupled with danger at every corner. I partied more than I had ever done and went to beach party after beach party with the family that had taken me in, and many neighborhood friends. At one gathering in particular, a gang fight broke out near us in the crowd, then gunshots were fired and the crowd took off in every direction. Thankfully one of my friends grabbed my arm and guided, or rather dragged me behind her as we ran, to safety.
During my time in the south of Trinidad, I collected many other experiences such as this, which permanently altered my world view for the better.
They helped me be real, compassionate, street wise, and fearless, even dare I say they taught me to take no shit when need be..... I recognized that I am not an invincible being, but rather needed more caution, more intention in my decisions, more self love first. More living my yoga......
I began to understand how powerful traveling alone can be, and further committed myself to finding what I set out for at the conception of this journey on a lonely 20th birthday a month earlier. After all, I was into yoga, hadn't drank alcohol for over a year before the journey, not to mention a vegan, and just felt I hadn't found what I had traveled all that way to discover, about the islands or myself.
I expressed this empty feeling I was having to a Rasta man who had helped look out for my safety while I was staying in the neighborhood at sunset one evening, and he agreed wholeheartedly that I needed to continue on and trust there was more for me.
As we spoke upon this, a beautiful blue and yellow parrot streamed across the sky headed from a southerly direction towards the northeast. We silently made eye contact, knowing this was confirmation, hugged goodbye, and I headed to the grandmother's home and waited for morning to come to catch a bus back north.
*****
I had limited funds and wanted to travel as long as possible as I had no ties, so after arriving in Port of Spain again, I bought a bus ticket for the north of Trinidad. I walked to the city center again, sat down, lit a bedes, and contemplated what I would do for the following two hours before the bus departed. As I was smoking my clove cigarette, a conservatively dressed woman approached me and asked me in an American accent if she could sit down.
I felt warm towards her immediately and said yes. She told me her name was Eden. She lived on the streets as a homeless woman as her family had disowned her. She had gone on a journey to the US where she contracted HIV. When her family found out, they kicked her out. I offered her a clove cigarette, which she promptly took and smoked. She told me that I was out of my mind if I thought I wouldn't get kidnapped traveling in Trinidad alone. She was so firm with me I felt obliged to listen to her guidance.
She suggested I take the midnight ferry to Tobago where it is much safer, had nice beaches and a slow island lifestyle. I contemplated her suggestion, and she asserted to me it wasn't a suggestion but a demand that I must listen to. She then proceeded to escort me down the road to the loading docks where I could buy a ticket for the boat. I secretly named the road "Bum Row," as I had never seen so many people living on the streets in one place in my life.
After getting the ticket to the boat which departed at 12:00 am prompt, Eden and I wandered around, ate spicy Indian food that I bought for us, and talked about our lives. She walked me to the ferry boat that night and wished me so much love. I tried to give her some money which she adamantly refused. We said our goodbyes and she watched me as I walked towards the boat. She felt like an angel sent to guide me.
There were no security guards in sight on the boat. I was sitting by myself waiting for the ferry to pull out of the port when a man walked up to me in plainclothes and showed me his police badge.
My first reaction was to get a bit anxious as I thought I was being accosted at first. He told me there were no security guards on board (which I had been noticing), and said he should sit with me for the ferry ride over and that he would be good company and make sure no one harassed me.
He explained that he was going to visit his wife and daughter in Tobago, which reassured me and I obliged. He ran and bought two beers and some cheese sandwiches from downstairs. (Food I would normally reject immediately.)
As the night wore on we told stories of our life and he continually reminded how he very well could be saving my life right now. All the while, I'm laughing to myself thinking, or am I saving yours? He was obviously trying to make an advance on me, which I calmly declined repeatedly until he left me to sleep in a deserted booth in the empty restaurant.
As the sun was rising, we arrived in Tobago. Green hillsides, marketplaces, and concrete brick houses dotted the hillside. I disembarked the ferry and walked down the bay front to the taxi stand. I saw a red minibus with the number 222 on it, which is my birthday and also the number of synchronicities, so I decided to ride that bus to where it was going.
As I took my seat in the crowded van, I felt a huge sense of relief, and for the first time since leaving Miami, I was able to relax a bit and take a deep breath. The bus had this huge sound system and as the driver took his seat, he selected a track and proceeded to blare dance hall reggae for the entire hour plus ride along the coast.
I remember watching this elderly woman nod her head to the beat and silently rejoiced that I had arrived somewhere with a true island vibe.
We crossed a ridge line and began to descend into a town called Charlotteville, which was the end of the road at that point in time. I nearly wept when I saw the crystalline waters shining down below, green mountains, fishing boats, and as always at these pivotal moments in life, a tangible feeling that God does exist.
I asked the first old man I saw as I stepped onto the small dusty street if he knew of any guesthouses in town for less than $10/day. He smiled and said his Uncle had one up the mountain that I would really love. He then proceeded to take my backpack from me and load it into the trunk of his little car, and drove me up a steep, windy road to a white house on the side of a cliff.
The family that owned the guesthouse greeted me and told me it was $5/day. I immediately paid for one month off hand, not even seeing my accommodation yet. They walked me down the sidewalk past their home, and below me the crystal blue sea shone, so clear I could see the details in the coral reef and the fish swimming around it, even though we were at least 100 meters above the beach.
They unlocked the door to the one room abode, complete with a kitchen, bed with mosquito net, cold water shower, and a deck overlooking the expansive Caribbean sea. I had a wave of total release on many layers of my being. My joy was obvious to the family and they left me to enjoy my newfound space.
I felt battered and exhausted from my time in Trinidad, and proceeded to sleep for the better half of the afternoon.When I woke up, I took inventory of how my somewhat desperate situation had transitioned into paradise found within a period of 24 hours.
I decided to walk down to the tiny fishing village and seek out some food. I navigated the dirt trail from my house, and walked along the coast until I arrived at the main beach that lined the town. My mind was more focused at this point on where the most epic spot to swim in the ocean was, rather than on food.
I sat for a while on the beach and watched a rasta in the distance pull his little boat onto the shoreline. After securing the boat, he walked past me, paused a few feet away from me, and said,"You want to go on a boat ride?!" It felt like more of a command than a question, and I felt an initial twinge of resistance, knowing that I needed to be careful of whom I trusted, I felt into the idea for a moment, stood up and proclaimed,"Yes."
As we walked toward the boat, I read the name of the boat out loud, "Unchain Spirit." I said it again, and the captain (Nigel) smiled and asked me if I had any idea what that meant. Before I had a chance to respond, I climbed on board and we began to navigate our way around a mountain that was protruding through the middle of the bay.
As we rounded the corner, three untouched pink sand beaches appeared along the wild shoreline. Egret birds, albatross, and parrots dotted the sky. Nigel told me there were no roads to the vacant beaches, only trails, not a soul in sight. I was captivated by the beauty.
Nigel stopped the boat and observed me silently, somehow psychically knowing what it took for me to reach that moment. I sat motionless, rejoicing in a way that is far beyond words. Bowing with my entire being to the beauty this life is. Humbled by the unfolding.
****
I view this as a pivotal moment in my life. It was the moment where I knew, beyond any doubt, what an Unchained Spirit was. To me, it was to be the one to set myself free. It is to not let the chains of conditioning, inculturation, expectation, and shoulds infiltrate my highest bliss path in this lifetime, or any other for that matter. In fact, it was to break these "chains" I willingly took on and consciously create and receive my reality.
It was to always follow my heart, despite fear of failure, to always listen to myself despite fear of rejection from others disapproval, it was to keep going in the face of humiliation and shine brighter than the star(s) Sirius within my own darkness.
When one realizes that we contain everything we perceive we need from others, we become free to follow our dharma, our Highest Truth Path. One is able to love without attachment of forever, for the love within cannot be lost when a person exits our life, in fact the depth of healing can awaken even more self love. One is able to trust that no matter what happens in life, we are fully supported, even in the event of death, our journey is synchronistic and perfect.
To be an Unchained Spirit is to be one who flies free with the birds, dives deep with the fish, and communicates intuitively with the ancestors for Guidance. It is to know that the beggar is equal to the sage and to honor the divinity within both and everything in between with equanimity. Equal reverence to all of life, not just what is palatable. To be an Unchained Spirit is to claim one's birthright, which is to follow the love in one's heart, with no exceptions, even if the love is not met,  keep loving, keep blessing it all. This is dharma.
Though realization of the perfection of all of life, oneness is perceived and experienced. There is an utter freedom in recognizing the interconnected nature of all of life.
Through this realization, that everything is truly perfect, all energy is transmuted into teachings, which inevitably leads towards Self Realization, Enlightenment, Samadhi.
Through this one realizes the only chains ever on us, were the ones we placed there.
And knowing we placed them there, they can all be broken in an instant.
I experienced this utter freedom through the medium of travel, but I realize this can be experienced right in my own backyard. It is simply a matter of perspective.
*****
We anchored the boat and swam about 30 meters to the shore of one of the abandoned beaches. We walked barefooted up a jungle trail and bathed in a spring water fed waterfall. After swimming back to the boat and reaching the little village again, Nigel invited me to his Grandmother's for dinner as it was Sunday after all. I obliged and from there the journey rolled on. As it always does.


Itinual Blessings in the name of the Most High,
K

Broken Shoes

To the knower of what is unknown,

To the lover whose seeds have yet to be sown,

To the critic within that thinks my soul it does own,

To the depths of the ocean,

To the ohia's high mountain abode,

I wonder when along the way did the pieces of my heart get strewn,

Across desert floors,

Upon the sand of a million beaches,

At the busted train station on the border of home,

On the border of being alone,

I bow to you,

For the illusion granted,

I recognize now how my vision is slanted,

Acknowledgement the first step,

To venture into what is forbidden, 

To awaken what has been hidden,

To remember the eyes of the woman on the road, 

content with picking tomatoes, 

Even though her life is owned,

Once one realizes nothing is ours, 

Our discontentment,

Our victories,

Our heartbreak, 

Out torment,

Our bliss, 

we can fully let go,

Settle the heart, 

And trust the flow. 

Aho. 

On One-Pointedness

I remember the first journey I made outside of the United States as if it were a long time friend, who every now and then comes for a brief visit in the movie of my own awareness. I travelled through Mexico on a rather unexpected jaunt, on a whim really. From the time I crossed the border, I woke up to the depth of what being alive means to me.
 My partner at the time, Jason, and I, walked across the Mexican border in Nogales. I immediately was excited to smell the smells, to feel the dust that was tossed up in the air from the bustle of the desert infused city on my skin... I was in love with the sounds in the street, and the noticable life, so warm and alive, and not numb, comparatively from the border we just crossed.
After 18 years, it was a gift to finally step outside of what was familiar and realize the being I was told I was, was not in fact who I was, and in fact who was I?
I found myself travelling at night, as the passenger on a bus, mystified by the constellation filled sky. I was uncomfortable as hell, travelling for more than 40 hours, freezing cold, dusty from previous said hitchhiking and sleeping the night before in a tenement apartment yard little Mexico playground in Arizona.... There was a  loud American movie blaring in Spanish on the bus, and I was hungry...let's face it being a vegan travelling through Mexico is about as easy as sleeping in a bed full of fire ants, it can sting at times!
Despite my discomfort, I recognized my unplanned, unannounced vision quest journey had begun....and I was elated. Literally tears were streaming down my face, but there was no sadness, only an overwhelming love for the mystery of this life.
The stars always looked different to me from then on. I began to feel as if I pulsated with the stars, that the stars were within my own being. It was as if some string in my heart that had previously not been plucked, was in perfect tune, and attuned to the moment. I definitely had less than $200, and seemed to not mind.
When i finally arrived at my destination, a surf camp on the beach on a  little estuary off in the Pacific ocean in the state of Tepic, everything was perfect to me...
Everything except the mosquitos and sandflies. La jajenas as the all surfers in the camp called them. They were voracious and loved feeding on my fresh off the boat not yet acclimatized skin. I asked the locals if they were worse there than other places, and as if that was the most hilarious thing they ever heard, they told me yes.
 Around the same time in my life, I had reclaimed a life-times long yogic curiosity and love of practice, and was very dedicated to always taking time to sit in meditation. To stand on my head and let the breath breathe me....I tried practicing on the beach, at the surf camp where I was staying, on the roof tops of old abandoned houses that mashed up in a recent hurricane, as close to the water as possible, with natural oils on to keep the bugs at bay, even in the kitchen, and felt utterly defeated by the onslaughts of bug bites I would get each time I tried to sit for meditation or practice.
 After about a week of being there, a very interesting man rolled up on his bicycle. The bicycle had a cart on the back with the Belgian flag and was carrying medicine for the people of the village. He walked right up to me and introduced himself as Vicente.
Vicente told me he had ridden his bicycle from Northern Canada to Southern Mexico, loved MX so much he decided to stay for a while in a village inland. Before being in the Western hemisphere, he pedalled his bike through India, lived with yogis, and cooked curry and brewed cup after cup of gingery chai made with jasmine tea. We became friends and would blare Bob Marley's album Exodus and cook big pots of food for all of the other people willing to eat.
One day, as I was setting out on my mission down the beach to find a place to practice, he wished me good luck and said he would join me on my mission, smoke his porro, and make sure I didn't get myself into trouble being alone on the beach like a true crazy person, because as he reasoned out,"You don't look like trouble, but you have a way of finding it." (very honestly referring to a scenario I got myself in the previous day on the beach).
 So we walked a small ways down the pink sand and I rolled my straw mat out to begin my yoga practice. Of course, within a couple of minutes, I was uncontrollably itching all of the little stings I felt from the jajenas, (sandflies) and kept interrupting my practice with an agitated, scattered mind over and over to try to shoo away a bug that is nearly invisible.
Vicente took one look at me and rather seriously said,"Hey, I thought you were a real yogi, you cannot even sit through a few bug bites. You are weak in your mind. The true yogi, meditates, even when the bugs bite him. You have to meditate beyond the bugs. You use too many excuses. Meditate beyond the bugs. use them to help you focus "
Upon hearing him say that, something in my consciousness snapped like a dry branch, and a realization beyond words awakened within me. I was agitated that he was saying that to me, but also grateful for someone to tell me the truth. I became determined, not only determined, but angry and ready to try again, and this time, meditate through the bugs. He did not back down, and sat there in the morning sun, patiently, holding space for me perhaps, to realize I was more infinite than I thought.  To show me I was stronger than I thought.
As I resumed my practice, the bugs continued to bite me, but I allowed my mind to become one pointed. Like an archer drawing the bow string, focusing on the target, I became still within, and holding my awareness in one-pointedness, I practiced.
The focal point for me was equanimity within discomfort. To be able to find the effortless effort, even when i was uncomfortable. It was an amazing practice, i still remember it, eleven years later, as if it was yesterday. When i finished, Vicente had already walked back to the surf camp, but that did not matter. I had not even noticed to ask him where he was going. I allowed myself to submerge myself into my own being. I touched the place within that is beyond all sorrow or doubt, and felt the pulsation of all of life within myself.
This was the first time I believe I had an experience of pratyahara, sense withdrawal, in this lifetime. I meditated not only with the bugs, but beyond them. Allowing the bugs to bite me was a practice in unattachment to even my own body. That day on the beach I felt the essence of what yoga is touch my being.
I watched the ocean as my dhristi (gaze point) and the endless horizon as my inspiration. In all of that intensity and beauty, it didn't seem to matter how well I performed the asanas. Whether I balanced or not. What mattered in that moment was that I was alive to feel everything within myself. I was blessed  to be a traveller amongst other travellers, all finding oneness within the open road. I felt completely supported by the Universal Being, to have angels come to me, in disguise as amazing humans, offer teachings, and then just like the rising waves, once again they are destined to merge into the ocean of existence, perhaps never to be seen again in this lifetime.
That afternoon, when I returned to the surf camp, Vicente was sitting there smiling at me. Laughingly he said,"You look more vibrant than I've ever see you. The yogi within you has been awakened!" I sheepishly smiled and asked," Time to make some curry?"
*******************************************************************************
This experience has set an example for me that I constantly draw upon now, not only within my yoga practice, but also the rest of my life. After all, yoga is life. When I am uncomfortable, and start to get restless and agitated, I remind myself to settle my mind as silt settles in the bottom of a motionless pond. I focus on the moment in front of me, and breathe into myself. I watch the feelings arise within me as if they are waves in the ocean, I realize now that impermanence is the only reliable truth in life, and if I am patient with the process, all discomfort, all perceived suffering, will once again dissipate into the vast and eternal ocean of consciousness within me.

Within that consciousness there is always peace. The yogis describe it as a sorrowless, luminous place. I recognize the awareness within me, is one with the Universal Awareness of all, and through this I am able to let go, to surrender to the flow that is the journey of this lifetime, mosquitos and all.  Namaste xo, K